For almost 8 years, Father's Day has been the hardest day of the year for me. Birthday's and anniversaries can be acknowledged and then ignored, because few people in my life even know when they are, but Father's Day is all about the most important person who is missing from my life. Dad's are honored in church and on social media, and I think that's awesome, but it's hard for me because it reminds me of my loss. If this post caught your attention, then Father's day probably isn't your favorite day of the year either.
I compiled a few ideas to make Father's Day less about the very real void in our lives and more about the blessings! I realize that not everyone of these will make sense for each and every one of you, but I hope at least one will help bring a little joy into your Father's Day!
#1. Celebrate Men Who Support You
I posted the following on Instagram and Facebook last Father's Day:
"Father's Day has been a difficult season ever since I lost my dad to cancer in 2011. Every year different thoughts go through my mind and I end up recognizing something new. This year I want to thank several men in my life. Here's why: Ever since losing my dad I've had this faint hope of one day finding someone to be my 'father figure' and fill all the space my daddy left. That hasn't happened yet and even if one day someone seems enough like a father to me that I would ask him to walk me down the aisle at my wedding I know that even that man will never be just like my dad. That said, there are several men whom God has brought into my life who have made an enourmous difference for the better! Some have given me the comforting hugs I miss so much from my dad. Some have prayed with me. Some have discussed my theology questions with me. Some have bought me ice cream or grilled delicious food for me. Some have been there to support and congratulate me at plays, concerts, tournaments, and my High School Graduation. Some have helped me with car and/or computer trouble. Some have helped me through anxiety and grief. Some have encouraged me in my strengths. Some have called me out and helped work on my weakness. Some even read to me as a kid, and they have all meant the world to me! So Happy Father's Day, [Insert names of like 20 incredible men, including my brothers, uncle's, pastors, and dad's of my friends]"
Notice that no one of the men above replaced my dad, but they all had a profound positive impact on me in my "fatherlessness." If anyone has done this for you, I'd encourage you to let them know this Father's Day!
#2 Celebrate Good Memories
If you have good memories with your dad, Father's day might be a good time to spend remembering them. Maybe look at old photos, cards, or gifts he gave you, or invite your mom or siblings to tell stories. It might be painful to remember, but I've found that looking back helps me to be grateful for the father I had and to appreciate the difference he still makes in my life!
#3 Celebrate Your Father in Heaven
No surprise that a post on Never Fatherless brings it back to the LORD as Heavenly Father. I know the idea of God as Father can be challenging for some, but if it is an encouragement to you, spend some time this Father's Day thinking about and celebrating how God is a good father to you. Here's a post I wrote in 2016, celebrating God for Father's Day: The Best Father Ever
Thank you for reading! I hope these ideas encourage you and I will be praying for you this Father's Day!
-L.
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